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The good divorce guide: 12 questions all women should ask

Posted on 01 February 2016. Source: Daily Mail

The good divorce guide: 12 questions all women should ask

At the time of year when marital meltdowns are at their peak, we ask the country’s most senior divorce lawyers for their advice

How can I prioritise my children throughout the divorce process?

Sandra Davis, partner and head of the family department at Mishcon de Reya

Divorce can have a hugely adverse impact on children, even in the most civilised of cases. All too often they are used as pawns in the process of separation and can become collateral damage if their interests are not prioritised. It is important to remember that co-parenting doesn’t end when the marriage does. Taking a step back to focus on – and objectively evaluate – the children’s needs can be hard but they are entitled to maintain a relationship with both parents, whatever the reason for the breakdown in the marriage.

Reaching out to secure support from a therapist or child psychologist can be invaluable in learning how to set new boundaries and minimise conflict. Retaliation and retribution conducted through court proceedings or solicitor correspondence is unhealthy; for both financial and child-related disputes court should be a last resort. Alternative dispute resolution gives a wider range of more conciliatory choices. For the family dynamic going forward, a solution that is reached through collaboration has to be better, and cheaper, in the long run than one that is imposed.

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